Saturday, March 28, 2009

Miss Pregnancy.

I think I'm going to miss pregnancy. Now, this isn't to say that I'm not chomping at the bit to once again sleep on my belly, enjoy the oddly appealing taste of a dirty martini, or fit into a normal pair of jeans without exposing the top few inches of my butt crack. But, there are definitely some things I'm gonna miss.

  • Stretchy maternity jeans. I never realized how much of my life has been wasted zipping and buttoning my jeans over all these years. They have all the ease of sweat pants, but don't scream "I've given up on life!"
  • Cake. It's awesome. I don't know if it's ever tasted this awesome before, or will again, but for now, every bite is like a forkful of butter magic.
  • The other day I was folding laundry when I saw a stain on one of my preggo tank tops.
    It was a ring from the bottom of a cup and was positioned exactly where the top of my belly is. As I looked through my tops, I saw that nearly all of them are stained in the exact same manner. I'ma miss the convenience of my 24hour bellyside table. For that matter, so will my cat who has deemed this spot her new perch.
  • Need your bags carried or a seat on the bus? No problem, Miss. From salespeople to complete strangers, they all revert back into a 1950s-esque mode of chivalry.
  • My belly is poor man's television. It wiggles. It thumps. It routinely reenacts every scene from Alien where the alien is just about to bust out of the stomach. Yup, my belly is currently more entertaining than a ball of really shiny foil.
  • Realizing that I can grow people.
  • Being able to walk up to a complete stranger and have a bite of their food.
  • Not having to hold my gut in. Ever.
  • More back rubs than I'll ever have again in my life.
  • The anticipation.
and lastly...
  • Having knockers. Man, they were cool while they lasted.

1 comment:

Lauren said...

This is most complete & accurate list of the joys of pregnancy I have ever seen. Ditto to every single one. Enjoy the EVEN BIGGER knockers now that you're a "milk haver", as Joe refers to me.