Wednesday, February 25, 2009

This just in: Sleeping Beauty was a drunk.

I want whatever Sleepy Beauty was on.

Man, I'm tired.

I keep waking up.

I wake up to pee. I wake up only to realize that someone put a bowling ball in the bed next to me. Flipping from side to side, I wake up having to focus all my strength just to rotate my body 180 degrees. A lot of times, like tonight, I just wake up.

After several nights of waking at 4am just to lay in bed reading for two hours, I've stopped fighting it.

I get up, make a bowl of cereal and sit on the couch looking out the window at...nothing, because it's still too dark to see. The house is so quiet. The dog usually takes this opportunity to fully sprawl in my spot on the bed while Ryan sleeps soundlessly. The cat takes my getting up as a sign that it is morning and time for her to scamper around the house and crash into things. Loud things. After a few minutes of kitty mischief, her internal clock seems to set in, letting her know that she's well under her 20 hours of daily beauty sleep, and she crashes out on my belly a few moments later.

And then, it's just me awake in the house.

Four in the morning is a noiseless time. It's a time that should feel lonely, but doesn't at all. Instead, it feels like you're stealing a moment of the day that you weren't really meant to have. It's like being backstage during a magic show and seeing how all of the tricks work. This is the moment that sits precariously between yesterday and tomorrow.

Then again, maybe there is nothing special about 4 in the morning, and these ramblings are just my brain on sleep deprivation. I have been up since 2am after all.

But, I can't help but wonder if this is my body's way of preparing me for the sleepless nights ahead. And reminding me that being awake at 4am isn't always such a bad thing.


Anonymous said...


Maybe you are simply a princess. akin to the princess and the pea. Although... I guess this one is more like princess and the pumpkin, and I guess this isnt under the matress, and you are not sleeping on twenty mattresses, and you already have a prince, and ...

I forgot what I was trying to say...

thanks for the post

TVC15 said...

Great post, Kristin. I know that time of day too. Beautiful description of it.

Get some sleep. ;)

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I should tell you this, but 4 1/2 yrs later, I'm still awake from about 2 a - 6 a....but I don't mind it too much! It's the only quiet time I have during the day, so I treasure it. Oh, yeah, I'm still conking out at 8 p. :) Or earlier. :)

Love your blog, hilarious!!! :)

Stacey :)